I dreamed a dream of you last night. You wore blue and I wore white. We danced until the sun came up, laughed until we couldn’t breathe, and surrounded ourselves with nothing but complete and utter bliss. I dreamed a dream of you last night and I didn’t want to wake. Because the difference is, is that my reality would take that dream away. So as I lay down to sleep I pray that you will visit me again and will dance all night and hopefully again soon all day.
No one ever said that it would be easy to run the race of life. But in life you have to run your own race at your own pace never losing sight of your goals. You set the speed and choose. Hell if you want to you can even put your life on cruise control at a steady pace so you don’t have to keep your foot on the gas so much. And then…run like hell towards your desired destination. That is what I have learned thus far and I plan on continuing to run my race. Now you go run yours!
The title of my blog comes from a very famous Abbott and Costello skit they performed regarding communication and listening. If you have not seen this skit before I insist you watch it. Abbott and Costello, “Who’s on First”
Being able to actively hear and communicate with someone is key. No matter what the day, time or season is your relationship both personal and professional will fail without knowing this key principle.
That is all for today.
Today’s blog is going to take a very different path from what I initially said would be my basis of blogging. Today I want to share with you a concept that I am working on. This concept is “Owning My Power!” This basically encompasses the following: knowing what I want in life, being comfortable with my boundaries/limitations that I set for myself, speaking up and commanding that I be heard and taken seriously, and to turn in the badge I earned for being my own worst critic. I think I earned that badge back in the ’80’s so it is well overdue for and update. I am also taking back the power that I have given to “Mojo Jo Jo” and other people and decisions I made in the past. I can not move forward and be successful in this new year unless I take back my own power.
Back Story/ Reasoning Behind the Concept
I have long pondered the question how someone takes control of your life, your power. I mean it is not like alcohol or drugs that cause an emotional dependency or so I thought. The scariest thing of all is, is that at least when it is drugs or alcohol you know that you are surrendering yourself to these outside influences. But when someone or something is taking control you are seldom aware of the slow dependency that is taking place in your life. Until one day boom it is too late and then you want out.
Well as a child we come into this world and from birth we are seeking the approval of others to let us know (validate) that we are doing a good job. As a baby we look into our parents eyes and wait for them to clap and say good job. So it is no wonder that some of us have a difficult time later in life expressing ourselves and owning our power because we have been chasing our next “fix” (validation) like a drug addict. We are going to have to learn to seek that validation from another source – Ourselves. However in order to do that I see one major thing that needs to happen in our lives. We have to do some soul-searching and truth-telling with ourselves.
I think as women and people in general we don’t want to be perceived as being aggressive or passive individuals because those are the two extremes on the scale that are not respected. However, at the same time we are so busy trying to not be characterized as being labeled as either that we forget to acquire the necessary skills needed to be assertive (in a positive way). Which means that we are lacking or falling short in many areas of our lives due to these skills not be acquired. Our relationships (personal,work,social, etc.), careers and many other areas in our life take an extreme hit due to this. We must step back and evaluate how we communicate our needs, desires, expectations, limitations and whatever else to other people. Because like a good friend of mine once said there is a fine line between being a bitch and being assertive. Likewise, there is a fine line between being a doormat and being respectful. But unless you know how you are communicating these things you will be in limbo trying to own your power. I personally don’t want to continue to live my life in limbo. I am going to strive to be more assertive and not care so much if my opinion is upsetting to someone. Because my opinion is just what it is, “MY” opinion. And opinion as like a**holes. Everybody has one. So here’s to owning your power and getting some more swagger in your step. As always I bid you farewell until tomorrow.
- Do double standards exist for assertive black women? (thegrio.com)
- The Fine Art of Female Assertiveness (psychologytoday.com)
I can only imagine what will happen next this week. First snow hits the great state of Alabama, my husband gets snowed in at his job in Tupelo, MS (haven’t seen him since Sunday), the kids are out of school again tomorrow and I woke up with a migraine headache this morning. Isn’t life just grand! I was not able to even begin to be productive until around 4 pm. Which meant that half, no all of the daylight hours that could have been used for working were gone. So yet another day gone and nothing was really accomplished. Wow! However, I was able to finally finish washing the dishes and mop the kitchen floor.
I think tomorrow I will actually attempt to try work on finish building my website and actually come up with a price list for my services. Also, I think I will try to workout for bit. Okay, maybe come up with a workout plan (to be more realistic). Considering I have not worked out in only God knows when. I think I might even need to consult with a physician. LMAO! We will see what happens in the circus of a life that I have. Because who knows with the way things are going hell you just can never tell. Until tomorrow I bid you all farewell.
I can not believe that snow has hit Alabama. Insanity has consumed half the people I know causing them to go out and stock up on bread and milk. It is funny because usually I would have been the first person in line but this time I was sure they were joking. Needless to say I was one of the last minute idiots running to the store mad as hell that they were out of my 2% milk and honey wheat bread. But I couldn’t be too mad because if I had been consumed by the insanity as well I would have my milk and bread. So basically I did not put forth any effort towards my business needs today.
However, I did tackle trying to better manage my time and delegating more chores to the little people (kids) to help out around the house. That however requires a whole other blog to itself.
I must say all in all today was interesting and semi-productive. But hey there is always tomorrow. Rome wasn’t built in one day. Until tomorrow I bid you good bye.