Somewhere along the way we have been indoctrinated to believe that for us to have it all that we have to give up something. We have bought into the hype that praising the Lord publicly means that you are a “bible thumper” or just overly religious. Somewhere along the way we have started to believe that only “white” women can stay at home and raise their kids. But in doing so “we” as black women consider these women to be weak and pinned under their husbands thumbs. We make comments about how we will not be pinned down by a man, we don’t want someone telling us that we can not go out and buy something if we want it. We have been indoctrinated to believe that submitting to your husband whom you said you would love, honor and obey is a sign of weakness. And heaven forbid we categorize ourselves as being weak like those other women.
Did we forget that our mother’s and grandmother’s were strong, independent, smart and successful women who just happened to stay at home. They were presidents of their social clubs, present for ever child’s function, ran small businesses from home and the list can go on. But with the ushering in of womens’ rights, the ability or access to obtain outside employment and the need to be defined by worldly success standards we have lost our way. We as black women need to look within ourselves and determine if what we are doing in life is realistic or idealistic.
When I say realistic or idealistic what I mean is are you operating based on realistic goals for yourself and your family or idealistic goals that have been set by the world. Learn to set realistic goals that you as well as others are easily able to hold you accountable for. That way you are not over worked and frazzled at the end of the day. Know and be comfortable with using the word, “No.” Sometimes we as black women feel that unless we have our plate full and have our hands in everything then we are not going to considered for that next raise, that next new big project, to serve on this committee or review board. If you are unable to do something “realistically” then say so.
The state of the black woman is being attacked on all fronts and we need to start to wise up and realize that our destiny is being determined by our actions today. Our families are still depending on us to guide them and to be the cornerstones of the community. Rise up black women and take your place in society, in your home, in your church and hell within yourself. You are a phenomenal women indefinitely!